However, I really wanted to share my experience with you- I apologize if this turns into a "journal entry"- so if you don't want to read anymore- feel free to stop. These past 8 months while I was there was very rough for me. I did a lot of 12 hour days- especially once the snow season flew in without any warning whatsoever! There were a lot of emotional days.
(here is their parking lot...)
I love working with people (hence my psychology degree) but it got to a point where my heart was too big and I let these customers really get to me. They tugged on my heart strings a bit. I had a few supervisors/floor support who told me to lie to some of my customers- I'm proud to say that I never did- but there was a lot of pressure to do so. Then about once or more a day I would get a call asking me to order adult rated movies for them- and that really tore me apart. I'll be honest- there were a few days where I just couldn't bring myself to do it ("I'm sorry sir, it looks like I can't find that movie and you'll have to do something else instead" =) no I really did. I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare.
(not my desk.. but what I was wishing for ;-) just kidding)
(not my desk.. but what I was wishing for ;-) just kidding)
For a spiritual sense, I felt like I couldn't feel the spirit for how down I started to get. This didn't happen over night of course- but it really made an impact on how I went about my day and how I felt about myself. I spent a lot of time praying- but I just felt like I was in a rut. Especially after a 12 hour day- I only had 12 hours after that and we're really good about going to bed early enough so we can get 8hours of sleep... so after that it left me 4 hours to get everything else done- so an hour before I left for the day and 3 hours after work to get dinner together and any church thing I had or anything else. I was running on no gas- which i'm sure you've all felt at one time or another.
However, the day that I lost my job- I felt as if everything was lifted from my shoulders. It's a trial and a blessing at the same time. I'm job hunting and I'm trying as hard as I can- but I am so much happier. I love working and working to achieve things, but this job really destroyed me. No matter how hard I tried to rise above everything, I felt like I could never progress. I am stressed out because we're leaving in 13 weeks or so to Arkansas- but we do have a back up plan if everything goes south. I've applied to about 10 places and I've had 2 interviews in the last 3 days. It can only get better, right?
Sorry that I took up a lot of your time and a lot of space here- but I really needed to get this off my chest. I want to thank all of you for being there for us and for keeping us in your prayers- it makes a huge difference and it is appreciated. I figure if mom could rise above all of her trials no matter what the outcome- so can I. I'm just so glad that I've been able to come back to my senses almost. It has been a while since I've felt this good. I know it'll be hard to attract new employers with all of this information- but I know Heavenly Father has a place and plan for me. It's a learning experience and I know that I did everything the best I knew how.
5 comments:
crystal i'm so glad you got this off your chest, i hope it feels better now, it is definitely NOT a waste of space or time! i really admire you for sticking it out that long, you are one strong girl, and it really sounds like you leaving was a blessing in disguise. but at least you can say you learned a lot about what you're capable of putting up with- kids are going to be a piece of cake compared to some of your customers! and i'm sure you'll get something soon, we're praying for you! :)
You dear girl. I was only aware of a small part of the negatives of your old job. Well, you can certainly feel good about holding your head above all that, and I know you will be blessed because of it.
way to go, Crystal!! In some ways I can relate, because I have been let go from a job that I didn't love, but thought I really needed. Good luck on the job search, I know you'll find something that's a much better fit for you and hopefully will be closer to home.
I know exactly how you feel trying to be honest and a job doesn't appriciate it! I stand right beside you if you need anything! The workforce is a tough place having to deal with poor management and bad customers can be tricky! I know cause I've had to deal with many in my own various jobs! Hang in there!
I'm glad you shared. I think that's what having a blog is for. Thank goodness for unemployment and Jon's internship! Good job for keeping your integrity, I have not done so well in your situation. Good luck, and remember everything works out!
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